Congratulations Losers–You Won!

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Here we are then.  We’ve all sobered up, rubbed our eyes and taken stock.  Everyone still hates the Tories, the party that cut everything from aid for the disabled to the taxes of the rich.  But they won.  Eighteen months ago I wrote that the government, without a hint of irony, would come to us in 2015 and ask to let them “finish the job”; the job of decimating our public services, welfare safety net, health service, care for the elderly and disabled and working conditions.  I also said the scary bit was that with our track record as an electorate, we probably would.  Guess what?  They did – and we did.

The capacity of the British people to vote in large numbers against their own interests is mind-boggling.  If we thought zero hours contracts were bad, just give it eighteen months and we’ll be begging to get on one of them for some job security!  The jugular is about to be gone for, by a party that had to pinch itself to see if it was awake after the election result.  Despite struggling to keep a straight face, they’ve started their mission to deliver “A brighter, more secure future” (their 2015 election slogan).

To this end, the queen will today sit on a golden throne to announce:

  • Vicious cuts in support for some of the poorest members of society.
  • The abolition of the Human Rights act.
  • Draconian Legislation curbing the ability of trade unions to protect their members’ pay & conditions.
  • Tax cuts for rich people.

She will be wearing a hat made entirely of precious jewels.

Keep a Straight Face, and You’re Laughing


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It would be funny if it wasn’t so bloody awful.  Last week (9th Feb) the Grosvenor House Hotel in Mayfair (where else?) played host to the Tory Party fundraiser entitled the ‘Black & White Ball’.  It’s an apt title, as there, for all to see in black & white, was the very reason we’re not “all in this together”: a gathering of as many money-grabbing, benefits-sanctioning, hedge-fund-managing, tax-dodging bastards as you’ll ever see in one place this side of Davos.

You know the sort.  The type who will see you sanctioned or imprisoned for claiming benefit incorrectly, then say, “oh, I made a mistake, I’ll just pay it back” when they’re found to have embezzled £20,000 from us to pay for their castle portcullis to be polished.  The sort who, after lecturing us about the ‘feckless, idle layabouts’ falsely claiming a few million over the top, will then shovel billions out of the country without paying tax on it, into the accounts of their wives’ companies registered in the Cayman Islands.  The ones who wanted to tax pasties, for Christ’s sake!  They all arrived in their limos, having paid up to £15,000 for a table at the ‘do’, to bid for lots at an auction to raise funds for the Tories.

It would be in bad taste for me to list the items for which they were bidding (you can see them here); suffice it to say that one of them was your own private jet to Santorini and five nights at ‘The Villa’, a luxury suite with it’s own private spa at the 5 star Grace Hotel.  Now I don’t know about you, but I would have to work overtime for the next 500 years or so to even contemplate bidding for that!  The sheer arrogance of holding such an ostentatious cash-fest whilst simultaneously hectoring us to tighten our belts and be glad of our zero-hours contract jobs, proves that they’ve given up even trying to keep a straight face about inequality.  The only thing missing was George Osborne lighting his cigar with a £50 note.

Whilst we all strive to strive to get on with our lives and cope with the loss of our public services as a result of austerity, it is worth remembering that if the majority of party donors, attendees and bidders at this noble event simply paid the tax that they should, there would be no need for a single cut.  Not one.